2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
It's just like the Real World with babies
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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