When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
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