Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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