hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
