I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
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