mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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