I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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