your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
