I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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