doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
