You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
