I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
