Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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