Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
