you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
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