Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
