i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
