I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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