I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
