you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
