nut hugger
We're like a lot better than the average bears
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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