Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
