Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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