Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
