at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
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