I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
