i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
