I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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