Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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