dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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