I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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