trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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