She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
home. puking in laundry basket.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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