Define "chronic" masturbator.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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