Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
