yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
