I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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