i can't believe i had my finger in that
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
