you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
We had sex on a dog bed..
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
