butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
We are two peas in an std pod
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
