Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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