just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
