I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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