Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
