and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
