she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
