So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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