May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
