She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
