Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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